Terms of service

The Legalese in English (the spirit, not the letter…)

In exchange for our services you will pay us legal tender.

Things change. The new things replace the old things, making the new things more important. But not necessarily better. Just like evolution.

Our store is hosted on Shopify Inc. They provide us with the online e-commerce platform that allows us to sell our products and services to you.

Section 1 – Online Store terms
You must be age of majority where you live to purchase from us. (e.g. 18 in Ontario, Canada)

Please don’t do bad things with our stuff. It’s not cool. Please don’t undermine us or our website(s). Also not cool. If we catch you, we’ll cut off your… access.

Section 2 – General Conditions
It’s our business; if we don’t want to sell we reserve the right to not sell… the following needs to be a bit more formal:

You understand that your content (not including credit card information), may be transferred unencrypted and involve (a) transmissions over various networks; and (b) changes to conform and adapt to technical requirements of connecting networks or devices. Credit card information is always encrypted during transfer over networks.

Don’t steal our work, our identity, nor pass them off as your own. Don’t share them without asking.

More formal legalese: The headings used in this agreement are included for convenience only and will not limit or otherwise affect these Terms.

Section 3 – Accuracy, completeness, timeliness of information
We try to keep things as up to date as possible, but sometimes we fall behind. If you’re worried about changes – ask us; don’t rely purely on the website. Sometimes we tell stories. Sometimes those stories age well and will remain, but be older (like me). Sometimes they will be removed. Like Joe. That guy was inappropriate.

Section 4 – Modifications to the service and prices
Coffee, prices, and life in general, are constantly changing. Sometimes we run out. Sometimes a season ends (I always cry when I say farewell to our stock of Ethiopian coffees for the season). Sometimes prices go up (and if a unicorn dances past on a rainbow of Lucky Charms and prices decrease) we will pass those changes on to you, as relevant. We are not responsible to sell you this years selection of next years coffee at last years prices…

Section 5 – Products or Services
We only sell what we’re legally allowed to, where we’re legally allowed to. Just because it’s on our site doesn’t mean you’re allowed to buy it where you are.

Section 6 – Accuracy of Billing and Account Information
Some more formality: We reserve the right to limit or prohibit orders that, in our sole judgment, appear to be placed by dealers, resellers or distributors.

You agree to provide current, complete and accurate purchase and account information for all purchases made at our store. You agree to promptly update your account and other information, including your email address and credit card numbers and expiration dates, so that we can complete your transactions and contact you as needed.

Section 7 – Optional Tools
This one’s kinda weird. So I’m leaving the boilerplate (no, there’s no lobster): We may provide you with access to third-party tools over which we neither monitor nor have any control nor input.

You acknowledge and agree that we provide access to such tools ”as is” and “as available” without any warranties, representations or conditions of any kind and without any endorsement. We shall have no liability whatsoever arising from or relating to your use of optional third-party tools.

Any use by you of optional tools offered through the site is entirely at your own risk and discretion and you should ensure that you are familiar with and approve of the terms on which tools are provided by the relevant third-party provider(s).

We may also, in the future, offer new services and/or features through the website (including the release of new tools and resources). Such new features and/or services shall also be subject to these Terms of Service.

Section 8 – Third Party Links
Anybody else enjoy that this one falls under section 8? No? Never mind…

Third party stuff is from third parties. It’s not ours; don’t treat it as ours. We’re not responsible for it… so get in touch with the given third party if there’s a concern. You’re welcome to let us know about it (we don’t actually like ignorance).

Section 9 – User Comment, Feedback, and other submissions
If you send us things unsolicited, we’re not responsible for its use or abuse. Anything we solicit will have specific conditions attached to it. If you’re ignorant, abusive, or otherwise disagreeable we reserve the right to cull your words from our collective conscience. If you’re particularly funny or ironic in your scathing attacks, we may enjoy keeping it visible… no promises, though. Marcus is Swedish, and they’re not known for their sense of humour. Swedish Chef aside.

Section 10 – Personal Information
See our Privacy Policy.

Section 11 – Errors, Inaccuracies, and Omissions
Missteaks get made. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s not, but never is it intentional and we aim to correct errors. Sometimes we find those errors quickly. Sometimes they slip through the cracks for eons (that’s “days” in Millennial speak). Okay, not a great joke – errors are errors and aren’t changed until we notice them. Apologies in advance for any issues that may cause but we reserve the right to correct errors, which may change, cancel, or otherwise affect your use of the site and any orders you may have placed.

Section 12 – Prohibited Uses
So, um, I’m not sure why we need to mention that YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO ILLEGAL THINGS (HENCE: ILLEGAL) AND YOU SHOULDN’T DO ILLEGAL THINGS WITH OUR STUFF, OR OUR WEBSITE, ETC. That’s on you. We don’t discriminate based on the usual suspects: gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, race, age, national origin, or disability. Don’t be bad, don’t be unkind, don’t talk smack, and don’t steal… there are more, but I hope you get the idea.

Section 13 – Disclaimer of Warranties; limitation of liability
Websites go down. The internet crashes. Power fails. We didn’t do it. Lighten up; order later.

Faeces happens. Let us know. No promises that we’ll resolve things to your liking, but it’s in everybody’s interest that we’re beloved of coffee drinkers everywhere!

More formally: In no case shall Quietly Coffee Inc., our directors, officers, employees, affiliates, agents, contractors, interns, suppliers, service providers or licensors be liable for any injury, loss, claim, or any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, special, or consequential damages of any kind, including, without limitation lost profits, lost revenue, lost savings, loss of data, replacement costs, or any similar damages, whether based in contract, tort (including negligence), strict liability or otherwise, arising from your use of any of the service or any products procured using the service, or for any other claim related in any way to your use of the service or any product, including, but not limited to, any errors or omissions in any content, or any loss or damage of any kind incurred as a result of the use of the service or any content (or product) posted, transmitted, or otherwise made available via the service, even if advised of their possibility. Because some states or jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or the limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages, in such states or jurisdictions, our liability shall be limited to the maximum extent permitted by law.

Section 14 – Indemnification
If you breach or violate our terms of service etc, that’s not our fault. Legally. (Or otherwise, actually. What kind of parents did you have?!)

Section 15 – Severability
This isn’t dominoes. When one part falls or fails, the rest remains standing and valid: rules is rules, even if some get changed or dismissed, the rest remain in force.

Section 16 – Termination
You use our stuff, you follow our rules. Don’t want to follow our rules anymore? Let us know and we’ll “terminate” this agreement.

Section 17 – Entire Agreement
Lapses happen. Just because we don’t apply 100% of the rules 100% of the time doesn’t mean we won’t do so the next time… the rules remain.

Section 18 – Governing Law
We abide by the rules and laws of Canada.

Section 19 – Changes to Terms of Service
Check this page! If things change, they’ll be reflected here. Did you miss it? Understandable; this stuff is… not fun. But ignorance is no defence. I mean, it’s here. In writing. I even used Vulgar Argot (English)!

Section 20 – Contact Information
Questions about the Terms of Service should be sent to us at admin@quietlycoffee.com